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Come as You Are: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life, by Emily Nagoski
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An essential exploration of why and how women's sexuality works - based on groundbreaking research and brain science - that will radically transform your sex life into one filled with confidence and joy.
Researchers have spent the last decade trying to develop a "pink pill" for women to function like Viagra does for men. So where is it? Well, for reasons this book makes crystal clear, that pill will never exist - but as a result of the research that's gone into it, scientists in the last few years have learned more about how women's sexuality works than we ever thought possible, and Come as You Are explains it all....
- Sales Rank: #1491 in Audible
- Published on: 2015-06-02
- Released on: 2015-06-02
- Format: Unabridged
- Original language: English
- Running time: 721 minutes
Most helpful customer reviews
230 of 246 people found the following review helpful.
The BEST Sex Book I've Ever Read. The BEST Life Book I've Ever Read.
By Kate Chopin
Come As You Are is absolutely the best sex book I've ever read. I used to buy so many trying to figure out how desire and arousal worked and while I learned good things, this was the book that felt like a warm hug that explained everything and how I could make this work for me. What I did not expect was to learn so much about my brain, and how *exactly* that was connected to sex, and why feeling joyful and content in life in general applies to sex specifically. I'd heard that sex and life were intertwined; the whole "it's all connected" but it never made sense until reading Emily Nagoski detailing HOW and WHY.
So all of Emily's blog posts come to life in this book, and every time I re-read chapters, I feel like the science connects in a deeper way. She covers attachment, sex that advances the plot in relationships, emotions, and mindfulness, just to name some topics. My favorite part of the book was learning about how the brain interprets goals and effort, and how you can use that to your emotional advantage to make life easier. (Also, this applies to road rage!)
I'd also always read that imagination was a big part of creating a better sex life, and this is the first book to have really sparked my curiosity in a way that I'm intrigued about sex. (I've had painful sex and avoided it for years now, while still desperate to find out how to make things work for me.) The way I think about sex and the way I feel about sex have been transformed after reading Come As You Are. Instead of comparing myself to friends' stories about sex, lately, I'm actually interested and find myself musing on how things work for me to feel so confident and excited about sex. I've come a long way from feeling that I have SO far to go to enjoy sex, to feeling jealous and inadequate when friends talked about sex, and thinking that I'm obviously not the goddess they are because I don't have those stories. That transformation alone feels therapy-huge, to have come from such shame and fear and sadness to curiosity and intrigue.
I'm pretty sure Emily is also the first sex educator I've noticed that used empathy to write little notes to the reader about their struggles. I cannot tell you how many times I've re-read those paragraphs on her blog and in this book, because it was exactly what I'd needed and never had anyone else say before. Emily GETS it. And I'm so thankful she realizes the power of what she's teaching, so this book could be possible. I really think every person alive could learn something and feel more at ease in their relationships and with sex, just from reading this book. Her blog is a refreshing on its own, but this book feels like a week at the spa. Thank you, Emily.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful.
For All Women, and Those Who Love Women
By Beverly Diehl
You should only read this book if 1) you're a woman, or 2) you ever want to understand how to please a woman sexually.
The rest of you, go on, nothing to see here.
This books explains scientific concepts about arousal and orgasm in layman's language, and constantly reinforces the concept that THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH US, That we all have the same parts, arranged differently. Some women easily orgasm from penetration, and it seems to be a function of where the clit is positioned in relation to the vagina, NOT inhibition or immaturity. Some women will never orgasm from penetration, and that's normal too.
It's all a matter of not just finding your turn-ons (your gas pedal) AND learning what steps on the brakes for you. And if there was one huge take-away from this for me, it was that wetness =/= arousal for women. We can be wet and not aroused. We can be aroused AND wet, or we can be aroused and not wet. Needing lube has NOTHING to do with being unwomanly. Need lube? USE lube. Make lube your best friend (because it is).
Lots of good anecdotal stories to illustrate the points of each chapter. I truly think every sexual person should read this. Repeatedly
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful.
Enlightening
By Colin
Emily uses a science based approach written in layman's terms. I learned a lot from this book that has changed me as a person... even though I am a guy and this book was written for women. I am even more excited about reading it with my wife and watching her find joy in herself.
Thank you, Emily
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